How to record a video message for the people you love

You don't need equipment or experience to record a meaningful video message. A phone, a quiet room and these simple tips are enough.

2 min read · updated

Seeing someone's face and hearing their voice is different from reading their words. A few minutes of video can become one of a family's most treasured possessions. The good news: you don't need anything more than the phone in your pocket.

Set up in five minutes

  • Light: sit facing a window during the day. Light in front of you, not behind, makes the biggest difference.
  • Sound: choose a quiet room with soft furnishings (a bedroom or living room). Turn off the TV, fans and notifications. Keep the phone within about an arm's length so your voice is clear.
  • Steady phone: prop it against books or use a cheap stand, at eye level, in landscape (sideways) orientation.
  • Background: anything tidy and familiar. A bookshelf or your favourite chair is perfect; it's part of the memory.

What to say

Talk to one person at a time, as if they're sitting across from you. Some ideas:

  • A favourite memory with them, told as a story.
  • Something you love about them.
  • Advice for a moment they'll face: a first job, a wedding, a loss.
  • A family story, a song, or a saying that's yours.
  • Simply: "I love you, and I'm proud of you."

Jot down a few prompts on a card, but don't read a script. Natural pauses and laughter are what make it real.

Keep it short

Three to ten minutes per message is ideal. Several short videos are easier to watch, and to re-watch, than one long one. If you make a mistake, keep going; nobody will mind, and those moments often become favourites.

Think about the moment they'll watch it

Your message may be watched soon after you've gone, when emotions are raw. Gentle and warm is usually better than very sad. It may also be watched years later; try to say things that will still be true then.

Keep it safe and make sure it's delivered

Videos on a phone can be lost, deleted, or locked away behind a passcode nobody knows. Store a copy somewhere safe, and decide how it will reach the people it's for. With a Tellafter plan you can attach videos and recordings to your message; they're encrypted, checked for malware, and sent to the people you choose only if you stop signing in.

A quick checklist

  1. Face a window, quiet room, phone at eye level and sideways.
  2. Record a 10-second test and play it back.
  3. Talk to one person, using a few prompts.
  4. Keep it under ten minutes.
  5. Save a copy safely and arrange delivery.

This guide is general information, not legal, financial or medical advice. Rules differ between countries; please speak to a qualified adviser about your situation.

Put it in words, and make sure it reaches them

Write your message in TellAfter, add the people who should receive it, and choose how long we wait. It stays private while you're here; we remind you first, and send it only if you stop signing in.

Write your first message free

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